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  • Listening to: Stone Sour - Audio Secrecy
  • Reading: Bryan Hitch's Ultimate Comics Studio
  • Playing: None!
  • Eating: Nasi separuh
  • Drinking: Teh O
(Pardon my lack of idea for a better title.)


It would be a cliche for me start again by saying how long have i been away from here. Since that is the case, i'd like to apologize for being silent and a dumb shut in for years. I thought once of deleting this account and begin anew, since this gallery of works no longer represents me. But then again i thought WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO THAT? WHY DO I KEEP REARRANGING AND THROWING AWAY OLD STUFF! I was so selfish, i know. <sigh>

Being busy is no excuse for me to forget DA. DA for me is where i start. Really. For me, DA is more than a FACEBOOK can be. I mean, DA has been around longer, linking artists via artists and other artists etc. We had networks within networks, man. We had the same interesting stories and personalities as many as weirdoes and thieves and swindlers. DA had gallery just like FB had photo albums. We WATCH other artists long before facebook allows us to LIKE other people's ramblings and useless-info-of-the-day. We had updates on our favourites and friends more efficiently and so on, and so on. Bottom line is, DA is where i felt most homely to be.

So NO, i won't wipe out this account and start clean. This is where my marks were made. The journey is what i enjoy most, if not better than the end product. There are times when i look at my past works and be disgusted by it, to a point where i even hated my own gallery. But now i think i got past that, maybe i'm getting older, ditched those teen angst stuff, and i begin to appreciate old stuffs.

ANNNNNNNDDDDD------- You can just ignore all the above bitchings and moanings and gibberrish rantings. I am after all, an older man now. You can just skip to the next point:
To all friends who know me, here's my invitation to my wedding to be held at Batu Pahat, Johor and Pasir Mas Kelantan, at 6th December 2009 and 12th December 2009 respectively. This is an open invitation as the cards is limited in amount but not in number of guests. Please bring family and friends.

Wish Us Well. See ya! :D………
  • Listening to: Creed : Full Circle
  • Reading: Alan Moore's Promethea
  • Playing: Batman : Arkham Asylum
  • Eating: Nasi separuh
  • Drinking: Teh O

( AKAN DATANG ) - Rosli Dhoby

Journal Entry: Mon Apr 20, 2009, 9:39 PM

:: R O S L I . D H O B Y ::

A Behind-the-scene look at the latest KL Motion Pictures serial TV production for ASTRO Prima Epik.

Rosli Dhobi (1932-March 2, 1950) was a famous Melanau Sarawakian nationalist from Sibu, Sarawak, Malaysia during the British crown colony era in that state.

He was a member leader of the Rukun 13 organization along with Awang Ramli Mohd Deli and Bujang Suntong. It was a secret cell organization which carried out assassinations of British colonial officers in Sarawak. He was well-known for his assassination of Sir Duncan George Stewart, the second governor of colonial Sarawak in 1948.
(copied from


Ini ialah surat terakhir Rosli Dhoby kepada keluarganya sehari sebelum digantung :

Kepada ibu bapaku yang dimuliai dan ditaati serta dicintai siang dan malam.

1. Selamat berpisah anakanda ucapkan di atas kematian anakanda yang dahsyat. Janganlah diingat-ingat dan dirayukan kerana itu memang sudah nasib dan takdir anakanda yang tak dapat dielakkan dan dimungkirkan lagi.

2. Peliharakanlah adik dan kakak serta semua ahli kita - Berikan segala pelajaran sama ada `Sunat' atau `Fardu' kepada mereka.

3. Ampunilah dosa dan kesalahan anakanda dari merah tapak kaki dipelihara ayahanda dan bonda sehingga hari perpisahan anakanda. Dan halalkanlah makan minum anakanda.

4. Selimutilah jenazah anakanda dengan Panji Kebangsaan Sarawak.

5. Segala perkakas tulis menulis, buku dan pakaian anakanda itu, berikan semuanya kepada Adik Aini.

6. Sementara anak kecil Fatimah, berilah dengan nama ROSLI sempena memperingati anakanda.

7. Sampaikan salam hormat dan maaf serta selamat dari anakanda kepada ibu tua dan bapa saudara anakanda.

8. Ayahanda dan bonda serta ahli keluarga sekalian janganlah lupa mengamalkan kebajikan dan mendirikan sembahyang untuk bekalan istimewa ke alam yang kekal.

Salam sembah dari anakanda.

Rosli Dhoby

1 Mac, 1950.

(courtesy of

  • Listening to: Static-X: Cult of Static
  • Reading: Y: The Last Man
  • Watching: Cowboy Bebop
  • Eating: Nasi Lemak
  • Drinking: Teh Tarik

:: Happy Days Just Began! ::

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 10, 2008, 2:00 AM
It was a magnificient 2 years for me. Now that it went through small hiccups, i'm just going to take a look back to what we have gone through together. May the aspirations brings closer to the ULTIMATE GOAL!

Pictures speak thousand words. And here i share some moments that matters. Cheers!



Recording @
Recording @
Office menaces

Recording @
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Recording @
Hari Raya Shooting for Kelab Disney Malaysia TV3

Recording @
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Recording @
Ramadhan 2007

Recording @
Recording @
Shooting for Remaja programme, TV3

Recording @
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Recording @
Recording @
Promotional event @ Comiworld, the Curve 2007

Recording @
Recording @
Charity Event for Eraman's Open House for Orphanages @ KLIA

  • Listening to: Slipknot :Subliminal Verses + Korn : Untitled
  • Reading: Fantastic Four : Mark Millar + Bryan Hitch
  • Watching: Kamen Raida Kiva!
  • Eating: Nasi Lemak
  • Drinking: Teh Tarik

:: GEN-X @ and KLIBF '08::

Journal Entry: Mon Mar 31, 2008, 12:26 AM

Last few weeks was a different mix of events. There's good and bad consequences from either events. But they sure contribute to my improvement as a person. I'll try to get to things one by one, depending on whether i have the patience to update them :)


Recording @
What fun it was!

Last time i had a recording for, a local radio station, for GEN-X, a program revolves around what's hip and hop in music and comic. I was a guest for an hour. We were dicussing among other things; the future of comic in malaysia, how i start doing comic, my favourite comic character and etc.

We had so much fun doing it. Although we finished quite late, but it's a worthwhile experience. Tagging along are colleagues
:iconz3dd: and :iconfaizalmukhtar:

= KL International Book Fair 2008 =
KL International Book Fair is coming again. It will be this weekend, 4th - 13th April 2008, Putra World Trade Center. There's something special coming for you this time from Pergh and Comic Fiesta if i'm not mistaken. I, too, will be there. Further info can be found here :

That's all. See you all there!

  • Listening to: Slipknot :Subliminal Verses + Korn : Untitled
  • Reading: Fantastic Four : Mark Millar + Bryan Hitch
  • Watching: Kamen Raida Kiva!
  • Eating: Nasi Lemak
  • Drinking: Teh Tarik

= H A R I + I N I + D A L A M + S E J A R A H =

Journal Entry: Wed Jan 30, 2008, 8:45 PM

Today's my first day doing journal in CSS, in which this is my first subscription to DA. I  never had enough time and luxury to update DA frequently, but as my original purpose of opening a DA account is to build a public portfolio, i will continue at this pace. Hopefully only reasonable piece get thrown here.

Working in comic industry is my dream job. It's not a job anyway, it's a lifetime passion. People don't just have office hours or stipulated disciplinary rules to do comic. It's an ongoing development process. People also don't stop making it, maybe a break some time - but never a full stop. There's no retirement in comic, people grow old, and still continue their marriage with the drawing boards and tools. When one may choose to go on having a 'healthy and disciplined' routine life, we comic, artist, live forever, with souls poured to our papers, characters brought to life, with splashes of colors, it's all magical. Panels to panels moving like movie frames, reading comics today is more of an experience, it leaves a mark deep in your soul. There's no erasing that.

Comics have touched people, inspired people for generations. I'm just another one of these generations to take up the torch and pass it to someone soon. And i believe those who succeeded in life are those who live life outside of the system - who doesn't follow the normal chronology set up by our civilisation, hierarchical schooling system and tertiary education - to be where you want to be.

I am now in place where i am accountable for my words and actions. People listens and find mistakes in both, but that's an experience i find wonderful, because of that's what i want. When you live to chase your dream, it takes a lot to bring it up, it even takes a lot more to pull you down.

  • Listening to: Slipknot :Subliminal Verses + Korn : Untitled
  • Reading: Loki : Rob Rodi + Esad Ribic
  • Eating: Nasi Lemak
  • Drinking: Teh Tarik
I've just returned from my kampung home. Such a thing is a great deal to me, considering i haven't been home for almost a year. I wish i can say 'it's good to be home' or 'home sweet home', but somewhere it just doesn't fits in.

As i see it, 'home' to me is to know what to expect. It is good to see that my dad STILL doesn't talk to me, my mother STILL mad at my quite long hair, and my 100-year-old grandfather STILL gives spooky, mystical advice each time i see him. At the age i am, with so many things comes in and goes by, i do need this reason to believe there is still things stagnant, a spot to hold on. I think that's a good reason enough to be 'home' once in a while.

I haven't been too active in DA because of my other enthusiast is in music. My band started out small currently, but we hoped to make progress no matter hard it would be. That's why my pageviews aren't something i would brag about, but i really appreciate you guys who gave out great comments, local deviants, international's, especially ZARATUS (thanx a million, man).

I do hope to make a break in both arts and music alike. Till then, JUMPA LAIN KALI!
Been truly long time.  Months, I guess.

Thanks to you guys if you read this, which means somebody out there still have the concern and patience to read my senseless thoughts, and my bad English.. hrrm...

It's good to be back to the only place I've ever felt free to rant. A security I rarely afford.Despite the many things that had happen around the world since then, especially the one just in my country shores.
My deepest condolences to families of the victims of the recent tsunami tragedy. It was a terrible loss, one can only imagine the suffering caused, and its aftermath.

I'll skip the boo-hoo-what-is-wrong-with-me speech and let you guys have a look at whatever deviation I can offer next.
Please give sincere comments, you can give serious crtitics, as long as the message is conveyed, so that I can really improve.

My pagevies are still very low, I must work harder. Gotta run..
I won't be submitting any deviations for sometime. I can't think of anything pleasant or beautiful right now. I'm at a major turning point of my life, yet i still didn't see it coming.

I find myself again in that damp gloomy corner, where i once were in my childhood days, where i would sit alone, hoping nobody would notice. Soon i'll find my own scratches on both arms, pulling my hair off its scalp, with heavy breathing counting every moment that has passed.

Each time when i almost thought i can be optimistic about my life, then i'll see that cold lifeless eyes staring at me again, waiting to pull me under again.

I'm getting more and more delusional. God help me.
My past as i recalled, I was yearning for a way out, but I was too busy to notice the cold bars around me. One that i made for my own.

I remember back in the school days, when I was a very enthusiastic boy who would try anything to improve my so-called art sense. I practically took everyone as my idol, and my strokes drastically improved. I was really happy. Those were the days.

Then it happened. My college days. My field of study literally sees art not as I thought it would. Creativity is threatened by the word Functionality; or so it was called in the name of art n science marriage. It practically keeps me stucked in the same place for 4 years. I was going to mid 20s and my art still looks like an 18 year old. Then family begin to break apart. Cracks that had been growing since I was 12. Parents getting colder. I got colder. Study deteriorates, lecturers and friends seems so far, so out of reach.

On long enough timeline, I snapped, got out of control.

But thing's changed. Although it doesn't seem like everything has yet to fall into place, but I'm getting along with it. I don't know if all that had made me a better man. It's like a monochrome sketch that was meant to stay black and white, so it was rendered accordingly. In assuming it'll be better in color would be in disrespect to the piece itself.

Things changed. But not everything. I'm sure my English still sucks, most probably a little better than Yoda level. Hardly can say anything smart either. But yeah, I'm looking forward to whatever the future has in store for me. I had my whole life in front of me, and I have a past that I can finally smile about, coz no matter how ugly I think it was, it was my beginning, my foundation.

Happy Eid Mubarak everyone!
A little something my friend forwarded to me.
Thot i'd share it with u guys..

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else- the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another a game. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Hope you are smiling at this moment!
Have a nice day
I don;t actually like to update this journal section, since I'm very bad with words. But I guess I'm just gonna write this one down, of this one 24-hour road trip I had last weekend.

Last Saturday I made this one ad hoc decision to travel all the way from Kuala Lumpur to Johor Bharu, that's about 300 km away, and it's a state at the south end of Malaysia. I suddenly felt the urge to pursue an affection of this one girl who were my classmate since primary school. We've lost contact for more than 8 years, until recently, and yet she's still waiting. I would feel like a fool if I blow this one up.

I didn't actually planned it, I just woke up from a dream, and before I knew it, I was packing my stuff, on my way to a place I've never been familiar with, with no relatives or known persons living there. I can't go by my own vehicle (although that would save me a lot of hassle), since the highway toll payment is too much. I had no idea what the people would be like, where I would sleep, how exactly am I going to reach the person I intended to. Bus is the only reasonable means, which would leave me another 10 bucks after the 2 way bus fare.

I'm not saying I never did travel before, in fact I'd rather be traveling to some creepy island or jungle instead of crawling my way from a city to another. And so I got on the midnight bus, with rude guys refusing to help, although one of them happened to be my junior. Got handpicked by the cops at a checkpoint for urine test (Shit, now I had to spend the rest of the trip looking like a junkie). An old man who is sitting beside me had a frowny look, and smells real bad, sheesh... Then got scolded by the bus driver for just trying to alert him of that old man who later got left behind when the bus stopped for a break somewhere along the highway.

I arrived at the dead of night, and everywhere's closed. Had to spend the night alone at the bus station bench until I can reach her again at the morning. I was lucky not to get mugged, or get tagged by municipal council authorities as the homeless.

And sure enough I got to meet her, and I poured my hearts out. The result? I was put on hold until further notice. Oh well, I guess better die trying than not making attempt at all. Got on the bus back home after just 5 hours to spend with her.

Why am I telling this to u guys?

Coz, expect real changes to my style of work after this, either way her answer turns out.
Don't bother to understand or finish reading this, I myself am still figuring out these pieces together. Try pasting this into Word; it'll go easy on your eyes.

I bought some comics today. Marvel comics. With all these comic based movies came swinging into the silver screen, I find it's had to resist the trip back down the memory lane, of where my childhood imagination starts. I spent almost a hundred buck, and when I flip the first few pages, man, I'm 13 years old again.

As ridiculous as most adults take these comics, they are somewhat my first education. Be it from morality, virtues, common senses to current issues. Hell, this where I started my first English lesson. I began to miss all those familiar feelings. The joy of it. I missed seeing Peter Parker and his redhead watching Clark Kent reading the news on TV. Most certainly the scene where Spiderman comforts Daredevil on top of Empire State building, when the latter just had his love life murdered. Whenever the sight of costumed personas and inhumans-like heroes such as the Thing, attending a funeral ceremony in a church, not considered as weird or out of place. Not to mention the wedding of superman, where other heroes guard Metropolis so that Clark can make Lois Lane his Mrs. Kent, while Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson in present. These are things that movies can never capture.

Heroes, they are meant to inspire us, give us strength and the will to do what is in our power, what is right for us and others. True, righteous people and those who risk their life for others for free are somewhat fairy tale these days. It leads to insecurity and the same feeling of treachery to each other as we walk streets these days. Sure, nobody from the sky is going to save us when we're mugged, but can we really start to believe that we are outnumbered by predators to prey? Although often regarded as unreal and unacceptable in certain departments, sure, like man can't fly or lift a train, or shoot laser from their eyes, but the that is hardly heart of the matter. It's their life problems and affections that really kept people like me glued to their panels. There are, how do I put it, - connections.

I don't know how to describe this. But it felt beautiful, like I'd rather trade my sight for the heightened senses of Matt Murdock so that I can truly marvel the world.
I live in my university's hostels. Over here we change rooms every year. I used to live with classmates as roommates, and some others as neighbors. But I decided this time around, I wanted privacy, more than ever. But I got more than what I bargained for.
So I live 'alone', with new roommates that I don't know of. Each is from other different courses. No one knows another, and it seems like nobody wants to. Suits me fine.
Things were normal for th first few days, but then I started to realize a few things freaky, like th fact that while everybody was doing their own business, alone, they were like having another person with them. There were noises in their own creepy, weird way. Especially my closest neighbor, he was alone all th time, rarely had anyone visiting him. He's been awfully quiet. But in the dead of th night, I would hear noises, ruffles, occasional snickers, and sometimes sobbing. I was sure every time that no one was with him, and there's nothing on national television at 3 in th morning. No radio broadcast would send u laughing by yourself every 10 minutes anyway. At first I found him spooky, but then I felt irritated, like he can read minds. Or at least pretending he can, so I was kind of bothered.
Maybe it sounds strange, but I think this guy is dead lonely. Loner like him had almost no need on other people's help or attention. But at times, dying for em'. They wud be curious, and occasional surprises won't hurt, but after a while, they would back to their own cell that they had created. Had only yourself to live with anyway. They had their own way to amuse themselves, though. And maybe to test themselves. Being there, took no part in other people's joy or pain. Loneliness had their way to find company.
I felt sorry for him. Poor guy.
Don't bother to understand or finish reading this, I myself am still figuring out these pieces together. Try pasting this into Word; it'll go easy on your eyes.

I just came back from an island. It was indeed a beautiful one. An absolute heaven on earth.
It's funny when I try to relate to the context of academic world that I currently pursuing in. I once tried to rationalize the basis of one of my design, in which I used a lot; and I mean A LOT - of uneven forms and textures. I thought it was full of surprises, unlike typical lifecycles that kept stuck at the same ol' pace. I told the offending critics that I tried to escape the strict horizontal and vertical steel and shiny design elements that are found in cities, that reminds people of stressful headaches and restraining orders of office daily routines. I resort to something quite 'natured', in hope of serenity. It was a seemingly adequate solution, until I was again forced to reconsider it by my recent experience at the island.
Being there was a complete mind soothing. Not just the scenery or the taste of sands between your feet. The people who went there are the same people like us, trying to breakaway from their hazardous city life. So they are much more friendly, welcoming, and doesn't hesitate to return smiles and waves. Happy faces are everywhere. Unlike their very own version in the city which would be extra cautious against strangers, with bad impression and even worse expectation to each other.
When we came back to the city, we came home to fast food restaurants, complexes and arcades, and of course the washing machine. We came home to the very same pit that we tried to break free in the first place, and it's ironic that, we felt 'belonged' here, to the civilization that shaped our thoughts and needs.
A possibility came across my mind that maybe that is because our mind is set that way. That maybe our logic, our ability to separate good and bad is only a something that everybody usually does and can do, and anything beyond it is considered 'illogical'. Maybe we can be 'reprogrammed', and our sense of logic can be altered - not by force, but by our own God given free will. Then maybe we would notice those small cracks in chairs or small holes in fabric that we tried to ignore before; and probably even see our world differently. We would be thinking a lot, and we would grow more grateful for what we have and what we have not.
I dunno what I am doing. Maybe I found blanks that I can fill in later. Some answers that I don't know will fit or not.